Today was one of those days I wish would be long forgotten or at least dismissed as "another boring day." Alas, that probably won't happen because the drama and the tears and frustration that defined the afternoon will mark this day for quite awhile as a bit more than boring. Drama is a better descriptor, I think.

There are four females living in our home, otherwise known as Kappa Alpha Estrogen. It seems at times healthy boundaries get blurred, feelings get hurt and one young lady or another begins to spew angry words and accusations that would make a sailor blush.

It's days like today that I figure, what's the use? Who cares anyway if these three girls have mutual love and respect for each other, my expectations must be too high, anyway. Besides, the oldest one is quick to remind me everyone (or no one) else is "doing it or going there or wearing it…" What do I know?

It's not like I wrote the book on Mothering 101: All You Need to Know…and Then Some.

I mean, is it really realistic to want, to truly desire these young women grow into emotionally, physically, spiritually healthy adults that are able to love and be loved? Am I expecting too much to want a great family that honors God first, loves one another and seeks to serve others?

A week or so ago, my friend Joanne was lamenting the same questions, only in her own way.

"Parenting is hard. And when it gets hard and when I'm tired and when it seems like

nothing ever changes, well, I just want to give up. I figure my hopes and dreams and expectations

of what a family should/could be must be just plain unrealistic and that maybe I should just lower the bar."

I thought I was the only one who felt this way…but it seems lots of us feel kind of discouraged sometimes. When I am without courage, when I want to just kick the ground and sort of give up I am reminded of a couple things:

My Lord loves my children far more than I do. He is even more interested in their emotional, physical and spiritual growth than I ever will be. (Whew…that does take a little pressure off.)

The Enemy loves when I get discouraged, sullen, sulky and full of self-pity…he jumps right in and echoes every negative thought I can think.

The Truth: Family is and always will be God's idea…so my desires for my family to be a great family…they aren't selfish, they are biblical. Psalm 128 reminds me that "Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.''

More Truth: This life isn't easy, it wasn't meant to be…but I am not alone as a mom, God is working in and through my heart and in and through the hearts of my girls, too. His plans for them will not be sidetracked by my sub-par parenting nor will they be augmented by spectacularly fantastic parenting, either. I am called to fear the Lord, to walk in His ways, to talk about Him to my children and pray for them dutifully. That's it. I can trust Him to do what He says He can do and that He is sufficient.

A Special Birthday Celebration…

Works for Me Wednesday…BACKWARDS Edition!


Here's how it works…The tables are turned and instead of me giving advice or resolving a problem I get to ask you to help me with a question or problem! And just in the nick of time, too!

Here's the mission: Help me plan a memorable 16^th birthday celebration for my firstborn daughter!





The vision: A fun celebratory event that marks her passage from girlhood to young womanhood.

I've been brainstorming and here's what I've come up with so far:

• The whole event could actually stretch over a weekend…her birthday is on Sunday.


• Friday evening I have given to her to plan…she is thinking of going to the high school basketball game with her friends and then maybe out to dinner, home by 11pm curfew.


• Saturday at noon I am going to "kidnap" her and two of her closest friends and we are going on a surprise road trip to Kansas City for a girlie weekend…but what to do, where to go in KC…on a fairly limited budget? Maybe I'll splurge for special hotel accommodations, like on the Plaza or Crown Center…but what else could we do?


• After church on Sunday and a delicious breakfast…but where?


• This is where everything gets fuzzy…I want to have a special family time birthday dinner on Sunday evening when we return home…but maybe that's too much.


• Kaylie is the first of three girls…so I want to establish some sort of faith centered tradition with this birthday. I didn't do so hot with 13…it was pretty lame.


• I would like to make a special memory book. This week Birthday Girl is to compile a list of people who she feels have thus far influenced her life in one way or another…either spiritually, academically, athletically or even artistically. These are people she knows and who know her…teachers, mentors, fellow students. I plan to scan the list and will be sending letters to these individuals to write a special birthday note of encouragement and wisdom to Kaylie. Some of these individuals will have a strong faith, others not so much but have loved her and walked with her in some way…it's just that I am not sure what to write in this letter of invitation. Should I just email them or snail mail? What do I do with them when I receive them? Should I make a special scrapbook with them?


• Gift ideas: a hope chest and/or a charm bracelet. Both could be utilized as external signification of this milestone.


• Another idea: writing a special prayer for her and presenting it with the letters and scrapbook.


• 
  
  Finally…how do I organize all these thoughts and prioritize them…then how do I actually implement the plan!
  
  
  
  
  Help! Do you have any ideas to share? Were there special moments you created for your daughter or maybe that you remember from a special birthday?
  
  
  Shannon and other bloggers at Rocks in My Dryer could use your creative insight into the many problems and dilemmas that plague the internets…find them here.
  
  Oh, and I vote that Shannon tosses the empty DVD cases in the trash…call it a 27 thing Boogie and move on girl!

It’s 4:28 a.m. and…

…for some Blessed reason I am awake…not that I have been sleeping and am now awake…but that I am awake because I have not been sleeping.

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!

I stumbled on Confessions of a Pioneer Woman last week, bookmarked it to come back to when I had time because I knew I would need time to read it. I knew if I started reading I wouldn't be able to stop…so when I started reading at 1am I foolishly promised myself I would "stop" after "just a couple entries." Liar. I am a sucker for a good love story…but even more so when it is a real one. I like real. I like authenticity and I like practical. Being awake now and not having been asleep when I should have been is not exactly practical…but just one more entry…


I have discovered the Holy Grail of love stories in the blogosphere and because you are my friend, you one reader out there, I'm going to tell you about what I have discovered…Confessions of a Pioneer Woman's story of how she met and fell in love with her Marlboro Man…Black Heels to Tractor Wheels: A Love Story. It's the epic saga of 'city girl finds love in the Oklahoma prairie':

As our eleventh anniversary approaches, I find myself reflecting on the circumstances that brought Marlboro Man and me together. So grab a Diet Dr. Pepper, hang on to your hat, and come along for the ride!

I started with the beginning sans Diet Dr. Pepper (eww), and read all the way to here. The best place to begin is with the archives, though. All the posts are in one spot and you can read 'til your heart's content. Just so you know…she's not done, it's a work in progress and you'll have to wait patiently for the next installment…and you don't know when she'll write…or how long it will be…but it's worth the wait.

If you decide to jump in…a few words of caution:

1. If you love good photography, especially of cattle, cowboys, kids, horses and prairie…make sure you have ample time to visit her site…you'll be there a while.


2. If you have a rich sense of humor, enjoy good writing and witty redheads…make sure you have ample time to visit, you'll be there a while.


3. If you are (even in the loosest sense) a 'foodie' you will find yourself compelled to visit P-dub's other site The Pioneer Woman Cooks…make sure you have ample time to visit, you'll be there a while.

Find, steal, beg or borrow the time…and enjoy. 

Advent Conspiracy…

There's a conspiracy underway…and I don't think it will end anytime soon.

I think we could agree we are all on a journey, searching…and it seems the holiday season exacerbates this searching feeling inside.

Unless the searching feeling has been satisfied. By the One who satisfies.


The One who satisfies came to us as a babe in a manger over 2000 years ago; today we celebrate His birth as Christmas. Maybe it's me, but somewhere along the way celebrating Christ's birth (aka Christmas) was hijacked by the searching monster. In the United States the "holiday season" begins at Halloween (or before), is punctuated by the Big Feast (aka Thanksgiving) in which we gorge ourselves on scandalous amounts of food and ends with the grand finale on Christmas Day. For many, Christmas Day has become a fest of consuming…of spending scandalous amounts of money on stuff we don't really need in search of something we really do need. We make our lists, check them twice and head out to Wal*mart in search of…something.

Christ's birth (aka Christmas) was meant to transform the world…not our credit rating. Why all this consuming during the holiday season? And it's not just about buying gifts, either. There's the new pots and pans to be purchased to cook all the extra food we are cooking, the new furniture for the people who are coming to visit…there's the new clothes to buy for the parties we have to attend…there's the wrapping paper and tape and ribbons to buy to wrap all the gifts we've purchased. And the $29.99 gallon of peanut oil to fry the $10.00 turkey. But you can use the oil over and over. Who fries food these days besides McDonald's?

Now, I may be preaching to the choir…or maybe I'm just talking out loud to myself…you may have all this figured out. But way back in early October, I was shopping the local *big box discount store* for Halloween candy and I noticed Christmas décor and stuff in the aisle next to the princess and fairy costumes. The confused look on my face must have mirrored that on my children's. "What's the Christmas stuff for Mommy?" "Oh, it just wouldn't be Halloween without a few Christmas decorations, would it, honey?" I decided I had had enough of the whole holiday consumer scene.

What if, as followers of Christ we would treat the holidays as the Holy Days they are? What if we would consider stopping the busyness…to slow down and listen to the One who satisfies? What if our transformed hearts would focus out on others, sharing the Hope that satisfies? This sounds great; you say…I want something different this year…but how?

Advent Conspiracy is a great place to start. Advent Conspiracy is an international movement restoring the scandal of Christmas by worshipping Jesus through compassion, not consumption. This page has some specific ideas for relational giving.

What Would Jesus Buy? is a secular docu-comedy about the commercialization of Christmas. It's from producer Morgan Spurlock ("Super size Me") and has received very positive reviews from Christianity Today and Beliefnet.com among others.

Catalyst Church in Kent, Ohio has taken the Advent Conspiracy to a new level…check out Christmas in Kent.org.

Rick McKinley's blog (Imago Dei Community) is here…read The Baby is Coming and check out Imago Dei's site.

Darryl at DashHouse.com has posted his column from Christian Week.

Here in my town three churches have formed Christmas on 84^th Street…here's the site for inspiration.

Inspiration for Celebrating Christ in Your Home:


What about Santa Claus? We began celebrating Saint Nicholas Day many years ago. Pastor Ralph Wilson at Joyful Heart Renewal Ministries has written a lovely article about Nicholas, find it here. Many of you may already know the story, I had never heard "the truth about Santa" until I was a Christ follower! For details on our family St. Nicholas celebration see Treasured Traditions.

And this link to Simpleliving.org is a wonderful Epiphany resource…a great way to signify the close of the Christmas season.

Joanne at The Simple Wife has an Advent Countdown with daily treasures to share with her children. The project page has the how-to. I love the simplicity and the message…this project reminds me of Resurrection Eggs…but that's for another special Holy Day!

A Season of Gratitude

Over the past weeks I have been writing down what I am giving thanks for this season…

I am thankful for God and all that He is…I am thankful for His gift of grace and mercy to me… for family and friends He has provided…my husband and our daughters…a healthy holiday for our family…our home…for financial provision to pay off debt…for my calling as a mother and wife and nurse…for being part of a church home here in Nebraska…I am thankful for the friendships we have made along the way and praying for new, deep friendships to walk along the road with…I am thankful for the first snow! and the firewood we were able to gather this summer to enjoy this winter…for being able to work part time so I can be home for the kids as much as possible…for the few days we were able to spend at Disneyland just before Christmas last year (before Emily's surprise surgery)…and for Christmas Day '06 with caring staff, nurses and doctors at Children's Hospital Orange County taking care of Emily (and us)…and for the love and warmth we received from Orange County Ronald McDonald house…I am thankful Emily has recovered fully from surgery and she has remained free from any further complications from the tumor…I am thankful we have had the opportunity to give to others in need…and I am thankful this season of gratitude is not just a day or moment or calendar event, but an attitude of the heart. It is a heart attitude that's not "gutted out" or from following the latest three step self improvement plan, but a heart attitude graciously provided by a loving God who lives in me.

Check out these promises…

 “I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean;I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols.I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you;I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.And I will put my Spirit in you and move youto follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.You will live in the land I gave your forefathers;you will be my people, and I will be your God.”Ezekiel 36:25-28

Taking a Break

So my husband and I are on a mission, a gazelle like mission; to reduce debt and become better stewards of the treasures we have been given. Because I am a fairly intense person (I usually approach a project or idea with a full on intensity second to only to my pursuit of God) I have been reading just about anything I can get my hands on about living a simpler, more frugal life. A quick net search for personal finance blogs yielded some very informative and interesting sites. I have provided links to two sites I have visited and read fairly regularly in my sidebar, there are others I have found as well, but just haven't linked them yet.

A theme I have found to come up fairly frequently on many sites has been the conversation about stay at home parent vs working outside the home parent tangled up with the issue of childcare. A recent post at beingfrugal.net intrigued me enough to comment. Another site, brip, blap had a similar conversation going and I was decided to throw my two cents in as well. And finally, The Simple Dollar has a book club; we are reading Your Money or Your Life, by Dominguez and once again a post, or rather the comments following the post compelled me to join in the conversation.

I don't think this conversation (the stay at home parent vs. working outside the home parent) can ever fully be resolved, we are all much too stubborn and convicted in our own minds about what is right or wrong, even in the face of research and statistics.